VP part Dos
Today I thought it would be fun to imagine what an interview would look like if the same questions were directed to both of the current candidates for Vice President. Most of this comes from various atricles in Newsweek and Time, but anything in quotations are direct quotes.
Rachel: So Tell me a little bit about your upbringings?
John: Well I am the son of a mill worker and I grew up poor. We moved a lot while I was young, but I excelled in sports and by the time I graduated High School I had lettered four times.
Dick: I can't remeber much it was so long ago, but I grew up the son of a wealthy business man in Casper Wyoming.
Rachel: So tell me about college?
John: I earned a walk on spot on the Clemson foot ball team, but wasn't quite good enough for a full scholarship so I had to transfer to North Carloina State becuase it was more affordable. I excelled at my studies and was able to work my way through college and into Law school at the prestigeous UNC Chapel Hill.
Dick: I went to the University of Wyoming for my undergrad in political science, and since I got comfortable there, I decided I might as well stay there and do a masters rather than push myself to go to a better school or try for a law degree.
Rachel: Now both of you fall into the age range (albiet at different end) that could have gone to Vietnam, yet neither of you did. Why not?
John: I registered for the draft and was prepared to go if my number was called but it never wasw.
Dick: I "recieved a defferment from the draft becuase I had other priotities,"
Rachel: So what did you do after college?
John: I was offered several patnerships at major corportate firms, but turned them down so I could start my own firm and have more say in the quality of clients I took on. Within a few short years I had become one of the best reguarded laywers in America. However the most important developement in my life was I met and married Elizabeth and we had our first son Wade.
Dick: I ping-ponged back and forth between buisnessn and politics often mixing the two. I made, I took over the helm of Halliburton in 1995 where I was making over 36 million dollars a year and use my political connections to raise Halliburton's goverment contracts 91%. Under my guidence the company was able to get away with over 100 million dollars in accounting irregularity. Oh I also got married and had two kids, but we don't talk about the daughter because she's gay.
Rachel: Why did you get into politics?
John: My son Wade had always asked me when I would run for office, but it wasn't until after he was killed in a car accident that I decided to answer him by running for Senator in N. Carloina. I finally ralized that "If I couldn't help enough people being a lawyer, I needed to become a law maker."
Dick: Well I wanted to be able to make a lot of money in business and what better way to do that than to be come a law maker and set the rules to fit my needs.
Rachel: What have you done since you've been in office?
John: Well I worked hard to build a retooled patient's bill of rights to help protect Americans from HMO's and insurance companies, but the republicans never let it get voted on. I joined the Senate Intelligence committee and called terroism "the gravest threat facing America" in the summer of 2001, but the republicans said I was crazy. Later I was offered a spot on Senatorial Campaign Committee becuase I didn't want to aliagn myself with any big businesses.
Dick: Well I took almost 2 million dollars from energy companies in return for turning their wish lists into a new Enery Plan, and used my close connections with Ken Lay of Enron to make this the most corportation friendly white house in American history! Oh I also backed a federal marriage ammendenment that would make it illegal for my daughter to marry her long time Partner.
Rachel: How do you view the role of the Vice President?
John: If I were elected it would be my to "offer my advise and counsel. It's Kerry's Job, not mine, to make the final decesion."
Dick: I am wield more influence than any other Vice President in memory. Don't expect that to change in November, in fact, you can expect my to become more powerful when I don't have to worry about facing another reelection.
Rachel: Ok time to wrap up, any final words for the American public?
John: "Today under George W. Bush, there are two Americas: one America that does the work, another that reaps the reward. One America that pays the taxes, another America that gets the tax breaks. One America- middle class America- whose needs Washington has long forgotten, another America whose wish is Washington's command," and I am filled with "a burning desire to level the playing field!"
Dick: "I'm not going to say anything signifcant at all, so stop taking notes!"
Well folks there you have it. Decide for yourselves who you want to be second in command, but just rember all the figures I used were facts and all the quotes were direct!
Rachel: So Tell me a little bit about your upbringings?
John: Well I am the son of a mill worker and I grew up poor. We moved a lot while I was young, but I excelled in sports and by the time I graduated High School I had lettered four times.
Dick: I can't remeber much it was so long ago, but I grew up the son of a wealthy business man in Casper Wyoming.
Rachel: So tell me about college?
John: I earned a walk on spot on the Clemson foot ball team, but wasn't quite good enough for a full scholarship so I had to transfer to North Carloina State becuase it was more affordable. I excelled at my studies and was able to work my way through college and into Law school at the prestigeous UNC Chapel Hill.
Dick: I went to the University of Wyoming for my undergrad in political science, and since I got comfortable there, I decided I might as well stay there and do a masters rather than push myself to go to a better school or try for a law degree.
Rachel: Now both of you fall into the age range (albiet at different end) that could have gone to Vietnam, yet neither of you did. Why not?
John: I registered for the draft and was prepared to go if my number was called but it never wasw.
Dick: I "recieved a defferment from the draft becuase I had other priotities,"
Rachel: So what did you do after college?
John: I was offered several patnerships at major corportate firms, but turned them down so I could start my own firm and have more say in the quality of clients I took on. Within a few short years I had become one of the best reguarded laywers in America. However the most important developement in my life was I met and married Elizabeth and we had our first son Wade.
Dick: I ping-ponged back and forth between buisnessn and politics often mixing the two. I made, I took over the helm of Halliburton in 1995 where I was making over 36 million dollars a year and use my political connections to raise Halliburton's goverment contracts 91%. Under my guidence the company was able to get away with over 100 million dollars in accounting irregularity. Oh I also got married and had two kids, but we don't talk about the daughter because she's gay.
Rachel: Why did you get into politics?
John: My son Wade had always asked me when I would run for office, but it wasn't until after he was killed in a car accident that I decided to answer him by running for Senator in N. Carloina. I finally ralized that "If I couldn't help enough people being a lawyer, I needed to become a law maker."
Dick: Well I wanted to be able to make a lot of money in business and what better way to do that than to be come a law maker and set the rules to fit my needs.
Rachel: What have you done since you've been in office?
John: Well I worked hard to build a retooled patient's bill of rights to help protect Americans from HMO's and insurance companies, but the republicans never let it get voted on. I joined the Senate Intelligence committee and called terroism "the gravest threat facing America" in the summer of 2001, but the republicans said I was crazy. Later I was offered a spot on Senatorial Campaign Committee becuase I didn't want to aliagn myself with any big businesses.
Dick: Well I took almost 2 million dollars from energy companies in return for turning their wish lists into a new Enery Plan, and used my close connections with Ken Lay of Enron to make this the most corportation friendly white house in American history! Oh I also backed a federal marriage ammendenment that would make it illegal for my daughter to marry her long time Partner.
Rachel: How do you view the role of the Vice President?
John: If I were elected it would be my to "offer my advise and counsel. It's Kerry's Job, not mine, to make the final decesion."
Dick: I am wield more influence than any other Vice President in memory. Don't expect that to change in November, in fact, you can expect my to become more powerful when I don't have to worry about facing another reelection.
Rachel: Ok time to wrap up, any final words for the American public?
John: "Today under George W. Bush, there are two Americas: one America that does the work, another that reaps the reward. One America that pays the taxes, another America that gets the tax breaks. One America- middle class America- whose needs Washington has long forgotten, another America whose wish is Washington's command," and I am filled with "a burning desire to level the playing field!"
Dick: "I'm not going to say anything signifcant at all, so stop taking notes!"
Well folks there you have it. Decide for yourselves who you want to be second in command, but just rember all the figures I used were facts and all the quotes were direct!
1 Comments:
I think it should be made clear that Cheney is still the main Bush official saying that there are clear links between Iraq and Al Queda, when in fact it has been proven that there are NO ties. He's still pushing the "weapon of mass destruction" myth, too. His belief, like most Republicans, is that if you say something long enough and loud enough, people will believe you. I hope that tide is turning.
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